Previously
前情
Previously: Xuzhu had come down from Mount Leigu. A little monk of Shaolin, in one night he had gained seventy years of inner power, a seven-treasure ring, and a painted scroll of a beautiful woman. He wanted none of the three. All he wanted was to go back to Shaolin and sweep its floors and strike its bell as before.
上回说到虚竹下擂鼓山。他一个少林小和尚，一夜之间得了七十年的功力、一枚七宝指环，还有一幅美人图。这三样东西，他一样都不想要。他只想回少林，仍旧扫他的地、敲他的钟。
But after some days on the road, a fire rose in the wild hills.
可走了几日，荒山里升起一片火光。
Chapter 1: The Ten-Thousand Immortals Assembly: A Child in a Sack
第一回 万仙大会：麻袋里的孩子
Xuzhu came down from Mount Leigu and went east.
虚竹下了擂鼓山，一路往东。
He carried an empty pair of baskets on a pole, wore the grey robe of Shaolin, and had in his bosom a ring and a painted scroll. The three things made him walk awkwardly: the ring was too precious, the scroll too hot to hold, and as for the seventy years of power in him, he still did not know how to use it.
他挑着一副空担子，身上是少林寺的灰僧衣，怀里揣着一枚指环、一幅画。这三样东西压得他走路都不自在：指环太贵重，画太烫手，那一身七十年的功力，他到现在还不知道该怎么使。
After some days, with the light failing, a fire broke out on the hill ahead.
走了几日，天将黑，前头山上亮起一片火光。
It was not one household's fire. It was the fire of several hundred men, heap upon heap, pressed down in a fold of the hills, reddening half the sky.
不是一户人家的火。是几百个人的火，一堆一堆，压在山坳里，把半边天都映红了。
Xuzhu did not dare go over. He worked his way around behind the ridge and lay down to watch.
虚竹不敢过去，绕到山脊背后，趴下来看。
The grass below was packed with men, their clothes torn or worn thin, their weapons laid every which way at their feet. When several hundred men chewed dry rations all together, it sounded like rain.
草地上黑压压坐满了人，衣衫破的破、旧的旧，兵刃横七竖八搁在脚边。几百个人一起嚼干粮，那声音像下雨。
A man stood before the fire, speaking. Only later did Xuzhu learn that his name was Old Man Wu, and that these men had put him forward as their head.
火堆前站着一条汉子，正在说话。后来虚竹才知道，这人叫乌老大，是这些人推出来的头。
He said that the Thirty-Six Caves and the Seventy-Two Islands had done Piaomiao Peak's business for decades: killing, seizing land, carrying blame. And what had they got in return? The Life-and-Death Talisman, once a year. Xuzhu understood only half of it.
他说，三十六洞、七十二岛给缥缈峰办了几十年的事：杀人，占地，背黑锅。换回来的是什么？是一年一回的生死符。虚竹只听懂了一半。
Xuzhu did not know what a Life-and-Death Talisman was. Old Man Wu went on, and then he understood: it was a wafer of ice planted in a man's body, that broke out once a year. When it broke out, the itch started inside the bones, an itch that made a man take a knife to his own flesh.
虚竹不懂生死符是什么。乌老大说了下去，他才听懂：那是一小片薄冰，种在人身上，一年发作一回。发作起来，从骨头缝里往外痒，痒得人拿刀往自己肉里剜。
At that he tore open his collar and jabbed a finger at his own chest. Several hundred men drew breath at once — a sound not quite human, like a field of grass pressed down by wind.
他说到这儿，扯开衣领，指着自己的胸口。底下的几百个人同时吸了一口气——那声音不像人发出来的，像一片草被风压下去。
Old Man Wu said that tonight they would kill someone.
乌老大说，今夜要杀一个人。
They had caught her a few days before, up in the hills. A single girl on her own, dressed in black, cut off on the mountain road — she had cost them no trouble at all. They took her for a servant of Vulture Palace, tied her up, and carried her back. Tonight she would be the first to die.
人是前几日在山里逮着的。一个落单的小丫头，穿一身黑衣，被他们堵在山道上，没费什么手脚。他们认定这是灵鹫宫使唤的人，捆了抬回来，正好今夜开刀。
Once that person was dead, there would be no road back for any of them. They would have risen, and that would be that.
杀了这个人，大家就再也没有退路。反也就是反了。
At the word kill, Xuzhu's palms went damp.
虚竹听到"杀"字，手心就出了汗。
He meant to go. He was a monk, and he carried on him the token of a whole sect's headship; he had trouble enough without walking into more. But then he heard the next thing: the one in the sack was a child of five or six.
他本想走。他是个和尚，身上还带着一派的掌门信物，躲是非还躲不过来。可他听见下一句：袋子里那个，是个五六岁的孩子。
The sack was carried in. Several men bore a cargo sack to the fire and set it down.
麻袋抬上来了。几个人抬着一只装货的麻袋，抬到火堆前，往地上一放。
When it touched the ground, it moved.
袋子落地的时候，动了一下。
Not the way a sack moves in wind. Wind fills a sack slowly, and it swells; this was a single sharp twist, as though something inside had turned over.
不是风吹的那种动。风把袋子吹得慢慢鼓起来；这一下是猛地一抽，像里头有人翻了个身。
Xuzhu came down off the ridge and walked into the crowd.
虚竹从山脊上下来，走进场子。
Several hundred men opened a seam and closed it again behind him. Someone shouted at him to go. He did not go.
几百个人让开一条缝，又合上。有人喝他走，他不走。
"There is a child in that sack," he said.
"袋子里是个孩子。"他说。
No one answered. Someone kicked the sack; it rolled half a turn, and nothing came out of it.
没人理他。有人一脚踢在袋子上，袋子滚了半圈，里头没出声。
The second kick was already rising when Xuzhu went in. He was not thinking. He simply put out an arm and blocked it.
第二脚抬起来的时候，虚竹上去了。他也没想什么，就是伸胳膊挡了一下。
The boot caught him across the forearm and sent him staggering two steps sideways into other men. Hands shoved him back and he could not keep his feet.
那一脚踹在他小臂上，把他踹得往旁边趔趄了两步，撞在别人身上。几个人反手推他，推得他站不住。
"Open it," Old Man Wu said.
"扯开。"乌老大说。
A man stepped up, seized the mouth of the sack, and tore it open.
有人上前，一把攥住袋口，往两边一扯。
What rolled out was a little girl.
从袋子里滚出来的，是个女童。
The height of five or six, dressed all in black, her face so white it hardly looked alive. She rolled onto the grass with her hair across her face and lay still, like a cat that had been stepped on.
五六岁的身量，一身黑衣，脸白得不像活人。她滚在草地上，头发散了一脸，伏着不动，像一只被踩过的猫。
For a breath, silence — then the noise broke.
四下一静，随即哄然。
Someone was laughing and slapping his thigh. "This is one of Vulture Palace's people? This thing?"
有人笑得直拍腿："这就是灵鹫宫的人？就这么个东西？"
The girl pushed against the ground and slowly raised her head.
那女童撑着地，慢慢抬起头。
"Little girl, big girl? I am your Granny."
"小姑娘、大姑娘？我是你姥姥。"
"Little girl, big girl? I am your Granny."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, new revised edition 「小姑娘、大姑娘？我是你姥姥」
——《天龙八部》（新修版） The laughter below burst open.
底下的笑声炸开了。
Some men doubled over. Some pinched their voices and mimicked her: "Granny — Granny —" and at every call the ground roared.
有人笑得弯下腰，有人捏着嗓子学她："姥姥——姥姥——"学一声，满场哄笑一声。
A child just rolled out of a hemp sack, grass still in her hair, and the first thing out of her mouth was that she was the granny of several hundred men. They had been holding their breath for decades; tonight they would laugh their fill.
一个刚从麻袋里滚出来的孩子，头发上还沾着草，开口就自称是几百个人的姥姥。这一夜他们憋了几十年，先笑个够。
Old Man Wu did not laugh.
乌老大没笑。
He stood at the very front, and the flesh of his face jumped once. Those two words went into him: Granny. For years now, whenever anyone said them, his back had begun to itch.
他站在最前头，脸上的肉跳了一下。这两个字扎在他身上——姥姥。这些年，只要有人提起这两个字，他背上就发痒。
He stepped forward, bent down, looked at the girl a while, gave a cold laugh, straightened, and pressed his hand downward.
他上前一步，俯下身，盯着那女童看了一会儿，冷笑一声，直起身来，抬手往下一压。
Dozens of men drew their blades and closed in.
几十条汉子抽刀，围了上去。
And then Xuzhu heard a voice at his ear.
就在这时候，虚竹听见耳边有人说话。
Very faint — for him alone. The girl did not turn her head, and her lips did not move.
极轻，只有他一个人听得见。那女童连头都没回，嘴唇也没动。
A string of instruction ran into his ear — where to begin, which road to take, where to break off, one phrase after another. His hand moved before he himself understood.
一串口诀钻进来，从哪儿起，走哪条路，到哪儿断，一句接一句。虚竹的手先动了，人还没明白。
One arm came up and pushed to the left.
一条胳膊抬起来，往左一推。
The first few men running in struck an invisible wall and went down to either side. Those behind could not stop and fell over them. Blades rang on the ground.
冲在最前头的几条汉子像撞在一堵看不见的墙上，往两边倒。后头的收不住脚，跟着倒。刀掉了一地。
Xuzhu was frightened before anyone else was. He looked down at his own hand as at another man's property.
虚竹自己先吓住了。他低头看自己的手，像看一件别人的东西。
This was not a thing he had trained. It came from someone else, and went out through his hand.
这一手不是他练出来的。它从别人身上来，借他的手出去。
In that confusion he bent, scooped the girl off the grass, and ran.
趁这一乱，他弯腰把地上的女童抱起来，转身就跑。
Half a li on, no one came after him. That one move had frozen several hundred men where they stood, and by the time they came to themselves, the two of them were already in the trees.
跑出半里地，后头竟没人追上来——那一招把几百个人镇在当场，等他们回过神，人已经钻进林子了。
Chapter 2: The Granny on His Back
第二回 背上的姥姥
He stopped to get his breath. The person in his arms weighed nothing at all, like a bundle of dry sticks.
他停下来喘气。怀里的人一点分量都没有，像抱着一捆干柴。
"You will not get far carrying me like this," the girl said. "Put me on your back."
"这样抱着走不远。"女童说，"你把我背起来。"
Only then did Xuzhu ask: "Who are you, really?"
虚竹到这时候才问："你到底是谁？"
"The one they meant to kill tonight," she said. "The mistress of Vulture Palace — the Child-Granny of Mount Heaven."
"他们今夜要杀的，就是我。"她说，"灵鹫宫的主人，天山童姥。"
Xuzhu's hands went slack and he nearly dropped her.
虚竹手一松，险些把人摔了。
He had heard that name even in Shaolin: the one on Piaomiao Peak, whom the jianghu called the Child-Granny of Mount Heaven. Tong, child — that was her body. Lao, granny — that was her rank. The name had rung for decades, and few had seen the face.
这个名号他在少林寺就听过：缥缈峰上那一位，江湖上叫她天山童姥。"童"是她这副身子，"姥"是她这个辈分。名号响了几十年，见过的人没几个。
"You are the Granny?" he asked.
"你就是童姥？"他问。
"I said it at the assembly," she said. "I am your Granny. They laughed."
"我在会上说了。"她说，"我是你姥姥。他们笑了。"
Xuzhu stood there and for a long while could not speak.
虚竹站在那里，半天说不出话。
He had not saved a lost child. He had saved the very person several hundred men had meant to kill — and those several hundred still did not know whom they had let go.
他救的不是一个走失的孩子。他救的是几百个人要杀的那一位；而那几百个人，到现在还不知道自己放走的是谁。
"That ring you carry," she said, "was my younger fellow disciple Wu Yazi's."
"你身上那枚指环，"她说，"是我师弟无崖子的。"
Xuzhu's hand went to his breast without his willing it.
虚竹下意识按了按怀里。
"That power in you is my fellow disciple's too," she said. "My fellow disciple's disciple is my disciple-nephew. A disciple-nephew carrying his master's elder sister is the most natural thing in the world."
"你那一身功力，也是我师弟的。"她说，"师弟的徒弟，就是我的师侄。师侄背师伯，天经地义。"
Xuzhu set her down and took a step back.
虚竹把她放下，退了一步。
"I am a monk," he said. "I do not go near women."
"我是和尚。"他说，"不近女色。"
"You carried me the whole way here," she said.
"你抱了我一路。"她说。
"That was to save my life."
"那是逃命。"
"And my back?"
"背呢？"
"That too," he said. "I will not."
"背也是。"他说，"我不背。"
"Fine." The girl sat on the ground and did not trouble herself to argue. "If you will not, I will sit here. When my younger fellow disciple finds this place and cuts me down with one stroke, you will stand beside me and watch."
"好。"女童在地上坐着，也不恼，"你不背，我就在这儿坐着。我那个师妹找到这儿，一刀杀了我，你就站在旁边看着。"
She looked up at him. "You carry seventy years of my fellow disciple's power in your body, and you will watch me die. Is that how your Buddha is learned?"
她抬头看他："你身上带着我师弟七十年的功力，眼睁睁看我去死。你那个佛，是这么学的？"
Xuzhu squatted on the ground and did not get up for a long while.
虚竹蹲在地上，半天没起来。
The wind came through the hollow and pressed his robe to his back. He thought of the precepts, of the bell at Shaolin, of how he would take his punishment when he got back. And in front of him sat a person who could not walk, waiting for his back.
风从山坳里刮过来，吹得他僧衣贴在背上。他想的是戒律，是少林寺的钟，是回去以后怎么领罚。可他眼前坐着一个人，走不动路，等他背。
He stood, turned around, and squatted down again.
他站起来，背过身，蹲下。
The girl settled onto his back and laid two hands on his shoulders, light as two leaves.
女童伏上他的背，两只手搭在他肩上，轻得像两片叶子。
That carry was the first precept he broke in his life.
这一背，是他这一生第一次破戒。
More would follow. One after another, until he lost count. And not one of them was a precept he wanted to break.
后面还有。一戒接一戒，破得他后来自己都数不清。而每一戒，都不是他自己想破的。
He carried her through the night. Toward dawn he found a fold of the hills out of the wind and set her down.
他背着她走了一夜。天快亮时，拣了处背风的山坳，把人放下。
"Go and find wine," the girl said. "And meat."
"去找酒，找肉。"女童说。
Xuzhu thought he had misheard.
虚竹以为听错了。
"My life has to be built back," she said. "To build it back I need raw blood. Human blood is not to be had; the blood of beasts will serve. The blood goes in the wine, and the meat is eaten with it."
"我这条命要养回来，得用生血。"她说，"人血弄不到，畜生的也行。血兑在酒里，肉要一起吃。"
"I am a monk," he said.
"我是和尚。"他说。
"I know," she said.
"我知道。"她说。
In that wild country, for one bowl of wine and one plate of meat, he ran half a day. When he came back the sun was already slanting west.
荒山野地，为这一碗酒、一盘肉，他跑了半日。回来的时候，日头已经偏西。
He set the bowl down and shook his head.
他把碗放下，摇头。
The girl did not reason with him.
女童不跟他讲道理。
"If you will not drink it, I will pour it down you."
"你不喝，我灌。"
Before Xuzhu could answer, the bowl was at his lips. She looked like a child of five or six, and her grip was more than he could break.
虚竹还没来得及说话，碗已经到了嘴边。看着是个五六岁的孩子，手劲却大得他挣不开。
The wine went down. The meat was pushed in.
酒灌下去，肉塞进去。
Xuzhu squatted on the ground and vomited, and when he had finished vomiting, he wept.
虚竹蹲在地上吐，吐完了哭。
What he had kept for twenty-four years was gone in the time it takes half an incense stick to burn, at the hands of someone he could neither outfight nor out-argue. He had done nothing wrong. He had made no choice at all.
他守了二十四年的东西，在一个他打不过、也说不过的人手里，一炷香烧到一半的工夫就没了。他没有做错任何事，也没有做出任何选择。
She sat to one side and waited until he had finished before she spoke.
她坐在一旁，看他吐完，才开口。
She said it without any expression, as though speaking of someone else:
她说这句话的时候，脸上没有什么表情，像在说别人的事：
"This year I am ninety-six, and I grow young again."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, serialized edition 「今年九十六岁，再次返老还童」
——《天龙八部》（连载版） The art she practised turned her young again once every thirty years. When it came, her body shrank back to the size of five or six, and a lifetime of power drained away entirely — drained until she could not beat an ordinary strong man. To bring it back, she needed raw blood.
她练的功夫，每三十年返老还童一次。返的时候，身子缩回五六岁，一身功力散得干干净净，连个寻常壮汉都打不过。要养回来，就得靠生血。
And that body would never have grown anyway. Years ago she had been training at the most critical pass of the art when her younger fellow disciple Li Qiushui disturbed her; the true breath went astray, and she had stopped at the size of five or six ever since.
她这副身子，本来也长不大。当年练功练到最要紧的一关，被师妹李秋水在旁边扰了一下，真气走岔，从此就停在五六岁上。
"Who is Li Qiushui?" Xuzhu asked.
"李秋水是谁？"虚竹问。
"My younger fellow disciple," she said. "And the enemy of my life. Half of what has drained out of me, she is the cause of."
"我师妹。"她说，"也是我这一辈子的仇人。这一身散了的功力，一半是她害的。"
In the days that followed, she taught him her arts, one after another.
接下来的日子，她一样一样地教他功夫。
First the Plum-Breaking Hand of Mount Heaven. It had no fixed moves: it took the moves of every school under heaven apart and melted them into the hand, so that whatever the enemy did, it became that. The deeper the student's foundation, the more shapes it could take. Xuzhu carried seventy years of power, and in his hand the art changed shape from one day to the next.
先教天山折梅手。这门功夫没有固定的招，是把天下各门各派的招都拆开，化进自己手里；敌人出什么，它就变什么。学的人根基越厚，变得越多。虚竹身上有七十年的功力，这一门到他手里，一天一个样子。
Then the Six Yang Palm of Mount Heaven.
再教天山六阳掌。
"This is Vulture Palace's palm," she said. "Learn it or not, as you please."
"这是灵鹫宫的掌法。"她说，"学不学，随你。"
Xuzhu learned it. By then he understood that without it he would not live.
虚竹学。他这时候已经明白，不学就活不下去。
"Go west," she said one day.
"往西走。"有一天她说。
"Where to?"
"去哪儿？"
"Xixia."
"西夏。"
"Xixia is an enemy realm," Xuzhu said. "What business have we there?"
"西夏是敌国。"虚竹说，"我们去做什么？"
"Li Qiushui is in Xixia," she said. "She is the Grand Consort."
"李秋水在西夏。"她说，"她是西夏的皇太妃。"
Xuzhu stopped where he stood.
虚竹站住了。
"And we are going there?"
"那还往那儿去？"
"Hide under the feet of the fiercest enemy." She said it as though it were obvious. "She will turn the world upside down looking for me. She will not turn over her own house."
"最凶的仇人，躲到她脚底下去。"她说，"她翻遍天下找我，不会翻自己家里。"
Li Qiushui was the Grand Consort of Xixia — a consort left behind by the emperor's father. A sister of a jianghu school had risen to Grand Consort of an enemy realm. The book gives her one line:
李秋水是西夏的皇太妃——皇帝的父亲留下来的妃子。一个江湖门派的师姊妹，做到了敌国的皇太妃。书上写这个人，只一句：
"The imperial palace was her home."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, revised edition 「皇宫便是她的家了」
——《天龙八部》（修订版） Chapter 3: Dream Girl in the Ice Cellar
第三回 冰窖里的梦姑
The two went west.
两人一路向西。
Xuzhu carried a pair of baskets on a pole, dry rations in one and the Granny in the other, and told anyone they met that they were a granny and her grandson fleeing famine — the child was the elder, the man with the pole the younger. A monk of twenty-odd carrying a child of five or six — no one looked twice.
虚竹挑一副担子，一头装干粮，一头坐着童姥。逢人便说这是一对逃荒的祖孙——孩子是姥姥，挑担的是孙子。一个二十来岁的小和尚，挑着个五六岁的孩子，谁看了都不多问一句。
They walked many days before they reached the Xixia capital. The walls were high; the guards looked at the baskets, looked at the child, and waved them through.
走了好些日子，才到西夏的都城。城墙很高，守门的军士看了看担子，看了看孩子，挥手让他们过去了。
Getting into the palace was not hard either. The Granny knew this way in already — she and Li Qiushui had fought their quiet war through this palace for decades, and she knew which gate took what and which night the watch was slack better than any eunuch inside. On the west side there was a side gate the deliveries came through: firewood, charcoal, ice. Beneath the palace lay an ice cellar where the summer ice was stored, a place that never saw the sun and where no one ever went down.
进皇宫也不难。这条门路童姥早摸熟了——她跟李秋水在这座宫里明争暗斗了几十年，哪道门进什么、哪一夜守得松，她比宫里的太监还清楚。宫墙西边有道偏门，每日进柴、进炭、进冰。宫底下有一座冰窖，存着消暑的冰，一年到头不见天日，也没人下去。
There the Granny settled with Xuzhu.
童姥带着虚竹，就住进了这座冰窖。
The cellar was so black a man could not see his own hand.
冰窖里黑得看不见自己的手。
The cold came up from the floor: feet first, then legs, and by the time it reached the rest of you, you no longer felt cold — only sleepy.
冷是从脚底下上来的，先冻脚，再冻腿，冻到后来，人就不觉得冷了，只觉得困。
By day they did not dare make a sound. The palace folk walked overhead, and the footsteps came down through the ceiling, one after another, as though treading on a man's chest. At night Xuzhu felt his way up along the wall and gathered scraps behind the imperial kitchen. The wine and meat the Granny wanted, he brought back too.
白天不敢出声。宫里的人从上头走过，脚步声就在头顶上，一下一下，像踩在人的胸口。到了夜里，虚竹才摸着墙上去，到御膳房后头捡些剩饭剩菜。童姥要的酒肉，他也一并弄回来。
So the days passed, until the Granny could stand.
这么过了些日子，童姥能站起来了。
First she stood with a hand on the wall of ice; then she could walk a few turns around the cellar; and then she began going up at night as well. Xuzhu asked what she did up there, and she said: "I have a few accounts to settle in this palace."
先是扶着冰壁站，后来能在窖里走几圈，再后来，她夜里也上去了。虚竹问她去做什么，她说："我在这宫里还有几笔账要算。"
And in that darkness, there was one more person.
就在这黑里头，多了一个人。
That night he came down from above and his foot struck something. Soft. Warm.
那天夜里他从上头下来，脚底下碰到了东西。软的，热的。
He reached out, and it was a hand.
他摸过去，是一只手。
A woman.
是个女子。
He could not see her face. The stuff of her clothes was very fine, not the dress of anyone who had walked into such a place of her own accord. When she woke she wept, and would not say a word.
他看不见她的脸。她身上那衣裳料子极好，摸着不像自己走进这种地方的人。她醒过来就哭，什么也不肯说。
How she had got in, Xuzhu did not know. The cellar had one way out, up through the stone; every time he went up he had to feel his way along the wall for a long while. A woman dressed like this, who could barely stand, had not walked down here herself.
她是怎么进来的，虚竹不知道。这冰窖只有一条道，通到上头；他每一回上去，都要摸着墙走半天。一个穿成这样、连路都走不稳的女子，不会是自己走下来的。
The two of them talked in the dark.
两个人在黑里说话。
"Who are you?" he asked.
"你是谁？"他问。
She did not answer. She only wept.
她不答，只哭。
He asked several times, and at last she said: "I cannot say."
问了几回，她才说："我不能说。"
"Then what am I to call you?"
"那你怎么叫我？"
"I will call you Menglang," she said. "My dream lover."
"我叫你梦郎。"她说，"梦里的情郎。"
And Xuzhu called her Menggu — Dream Girl.
虚竹便叫她梦姑。
Those nights the cellar was as black as before and as cold. But now there was someone to talk to in the dark, and the cold was easier to bear.
那几夜，冰窖还是那样黑，还是那样冷。可黑里头有了一个人说话，冷就不那么难挨了。
Xuzhu knew it was a breach of the rule. Every time he went down, he recited a line of Buddha in his heart; when he had finished, he went down all the same.
虚竹知道这是犯戒。他每下去一次，就在心里念一遍佛；念完了，还是下去。
This precept weighed more than all the ones before it together.
这一戒，比前头那些加起来都重。
The wine and the meat had been poured down his throat by force. Here no one held his hand.
酒戒、肉戒，是被人按着灌的。这一戒，没有人按着他的手。
And yet he knew: the hand that had sent this woman in lived in this same darkness.
可他心里明白：把这个人送进来的那只手，就住在这黑里头。
When he thought of it afterward, what he could least bring himself to say was not that he had broken the rule. It was that he did not regret it.
他后来想起这一段，最说不出口的，不是他犯了戒，是他并不后悔。
The girl did not come for one night only.
那姑娘不是只来一夜。
She came the second night, and the third. Sometimes a night or two would pass without her; sometimes she came several nights running. She never said who she was, and he stopped asking. When he did ask, she said only: "I cannot say."
第二夜来了，第三夜也来了。有时候隔一两夜，有时候连着来。她从不说自己是谁，他也不问。问了，她只说"我不能说"。
In a cellar with no day and no night, they made their own reckoning: when she came, that was one night.
冰窖里没有白天黑夜，两个人就自己定：她来，算一夜。
So it went for a long while. Long enough that afterward Xuzhu could not reckon the days; he remembered only that it had been a long stretch of time.
这么过了很久。久到虚竹后来算不清是多少日子，只记得那是一段很长的时间。
He asked the Granny who she was and where she came from.
他问童姥，这人是谁，从哪儿来的。
The Granny did not answer. She only smiled.
童姥不答，只笑。
This place had one way in and one way out, and apart from himself, the only one who could come and go by touch in the dark was the Granny. Xuzhu worked it out later: she had brought the woman in. And he worked out why, too — she meant to break his precepts one after another, clean through, until he had no face left to go back to Shaolin.
这地方只有一条路，除了他自己，能摸黑上下走动的就只有童姥。虚竹后来想明白了：人是她弄进来的；为的什么，他也想明白了——她要把他的戒一条一条破干净，破到他再没有脸回少林去。
Chapter 4: Not Her
第四回 不是她
The days passed, one by one. The Granny's power came back seven or eight parts.
日子一天一天过去。童姥的功力回来七八成。
She knew Li Qiushui was looking for her, and that not finding her only meant the time had not come.
她知道李秋水在找她，也知道找不着只是时候未到。
"If she cannot find me, she will ask herself where I would hide," the Granny said. "Whatever she can think of, she will turn over. And when she has turned over the last place, she will turn over this one."
"她若找不着我，就会想我会躲在什么地方。"童姥说，"她想得着的，都会去翻一遍。翻到最后一个地方，就翻到这里。"
"When will she come?" Xuzhu asked.
"那她什么时候来？"虚竹问。
"When she has finished turning things over."
"等她翻完了。"
The girl had not come for several nights.
那姑娘有几夜没来了。
Xuzhu did not ask, and the Granny did not mention it. There were only the two of them in the cellar again, as cold as in the first days.
虚竹没有问，童姥也没有提。冰窖里又只剩下两个人，冷得跟头些日子一样。
The Granny sat against the wall of ice.
童姥坐在冰窖里，靠着冰壁。
"She is about to turn this place over," she said.
"她要翻到这里了。"她说。
"How do you know?" Xuzhu asked.
虚竹问："你怎么知道？"
"I do not know," the Granny said. "I have simply stopped waiting."
"我不知道。"童姥说，"我只是不等了。"
She did not go up that night.
那一夜她没有上去。
Xuzhu asked why not. She said: "When the guest is coming, what would the host be doing out?"
虚竹问她为什么不去。她说："客人要来了，主人还出去做什么。"
She waited until the small hours, and then footsteps came down the stone steps.
等到后半夜，石阶上传来脚步声。
They were not the Granny's. The Granny walked without a sound.
不是童姥的。童姥走路没有声音。
The steps were slow, one at a time, each set down very steadily.
脚步声很慢，一步一步，落脚极稳。
At the last step they stopped.
走到最后一级，停了。
The door in the stone wall opened.
石壁上的门开了。
A woman stood outside, dressed in palace silks, her age impossible to guess — her brows and eyes were still fine, but fine in a cold way.
门外站着一个妇人，一身宫装，年纪看不出来——眉眼还是好看的，只是好看得冷。
Her eyes went around the cellar once and came to rest on the Granny.
她往冰窖里看了一圈，目光在童姥身上停住。
"Elder sister," she said. "So you hid here."
"师姐。"她说，"你躲到这儿来了。"
"Wherever I hide, you find me," the Granny said.
"我躲到哪儿，你都找得着。"童姥说。
"Once every thirty years." Li Qiushui's voice was even. "This is your weakest month. I have waited for this month for decades."
"三十年一次。"李秋水说，"你这个月最弱。我等这个月，等了几十年。"
The two stood across the cellar from each other, and neither moved first.
两个人隔着冰窖站着，谁也不先动。
The account of decades can be put in one sentence: they were sisters of one master, raised together, and they had loved the same man — Wu Yazi. Three people, one love, decades, and not one of them had it.
几十年的账，一句话说得清：她们是同一个师父门下的师姊妹，一同长大，也一同喜欢过一个人——无崖子。三个人，一段情，几十年，谁也没得着。
Li Qiushui moved first.
李秋水先动。
The heading of this chapter reads:
这一回的回目，是这么一句：
"What avails it that heaven is dark and earth is dim — the Dipper turns, the stars move."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, new revised edition, chapter thirty-three heading 「奈天昏地暗，斗转星移」
——《天龙八部》（新修版·第三十三章回目） The two of them fought half the night in an ice cellar, over an account decades old. "Heaven dark and earth dim" is what was in the two of them; and "the Dipper turns, the stars move" is that when that night was over, both their fates had changed places.
两个人在冰窖里打了半夜，打的是几十年前的一笔旧账。"天昏地暗"，是两个人心里那点东西；"斗转星移"，是这一夜过去，两个人的命都换了位置。
Xuzhu could not get away. The Granny directed him at his ear, and his palm, his hand, went out of their own accord to turn aside Li Qiushui's strokes. Having blocked the first stroke, he could no longer pull free.
虚竹逃不掉。童姥在他耳边指点，他的掌、他的手，不由自主地使出去，替她挡李秋水的进招。挡了第一招，就再也脱不了身。
"Who are you?" Li Qiushui's voice changed. "How is it that you can use the Six Yang Palm of Mount Heaven?"
"你是谁？"李秋水的声音变了，"何以会使天山六阳掌？"
"Who are you? How is it that you can use the Six Yang Palm of Mount Heaven?"
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, revised edition 「你是谁？何以会使天山六阳掌？」
——《天龙八部》（修订版） Xuzhu had no answer. Not one thing he could do had been his own asking.
虚竹答不出来。他这一身本事，没有一样是他自己求来的。
The three of them came close together. The Granny's frame was far smaller than Xuzhu's — and far smaller than Li Qiushui's.
三个人站得近了些。童姥的身量，比虚竹矮得太多，也比李秋水矮得太多。
"The Granny's frame was far smaller than Xuzhu's or Li Qiushui's."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, revised edition 「童姥身材远比虚竹及李秋水矮小」
——《天龙八部》（修订版） In the end Li Qiushui cut off one of the Granny's legs.
打到后来，童姥一条腿被李秋水砍断。
The blood came in a flood, and she did not faint.
血涌出来，人却没晕。
"Blood poured from the Granny's severed leg, and still she did not faint."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, new revised edition 「童姥断腿处血如潮涌，却没晕去」
——《天龙八部》（新修版） And Li Qiushui had not come off well from that fight either. She held to the wall of ice and could not stand steady; she herself was gravely wounded.
这一场打下来，李秋水也没占着好。她扶着冰壁，站都站不稳——她自己也受了重伤。
The Granny knew her breath would not hold much longer.
童姥知道自己这口气撑不了几时了。
Propped against the wall of ice, she first set her affairs in order. "Vulture Palace is yours from this day. The nine heavens and nine divisions, and the Thirty-Six Caves and the Seventy-Two Islands as well — all will take your orders."
她靠在冰壁上，先把后事交代了："灵鹫宫，从今往后是你的。九天九部，还有那三十六洞、七十二岛，都听你的号令。"
"The palace is on Piaomiao Peak." She caught her breath. "Out of Xixia, and east. When you see the mountain with cloud cut across its middle, that is the one."
"宫在缥缈峰。"她喘了一口气，"出了西夏往东走。看见云在半山腰截着的那座山，就是了。"
"And what else?" she said. "He gave you the ring. He gave you the power. Was there nothing else?"
"还有呢？"她说，"他给了你指环，给了你功力。还有没有别的？"
Xuzhu remembered what Wu Yazi had said at the end — the old man had pointed at the woman in the painting and told him to find her by it. He had carried it all this way and never once dared unroll it.
虚竹想起无崖子临终的话——那老人指着画里的人，叫他照着这幅画去找。他一路揣着，一直没敢摊开。
He took the scroll from his breast and held it out in both hands.
他把画卷从怀里摸出来，双手递过去。
The scroll was unrolled.
画展开了。
On it was a woman of surpassing beauty.
画上是一个极美的女子。
The Granny stared at it for a long while.
童姥盯着画，看了很久。
Li Qiushui leaned in to look too.
李秋水也凑过来看。
Then Li Qiushui laughed. It was an ugly laugh.
然后李秋水笑了。那笑很难看。
"It is her," she said.
"是她。"她说。
"Who?" the Granny asked.
"谁？"童姥问。
"My younger sister."
"我妹妹。"
The cellar was so quiet you could hear the ice turning to water.
冰窖里静得能听见冰化水的声音。
The Granny looked at the painting, then at Li Qiushui, and all at once she understood.
童姥看着那幅画，又看看李秋水，忽然明白了。
She laughed.
她笑了。
"Not her!" she cried, laughing. "Not her! Not her!"
"不是她。"她一边笑一边叫，"不是她，不是她！"
She laughed until the breath left her.
她笑到气绝。
Li Qiushui lay on the ground and watched the Granny laugh herself to death.
李秋水伏在地上，看着童姥笑死。
She reached out for the painting, twice, and could not reach it.
她伸手想去够那幅画，够了两下，没够着。
Then she too was still.
然后她也不动了。
What is savage in this ending is this: they hated for a lifetime, and hated in the wrong direction.
这个结局狠在这里：她们恨了一辈子，恨错了方向。
The woman in the painting was Li Qiushui's younger sister.
画上那个人是李秋水的妹妹。
The man they had fought over for a lifetime had carried a third person in his heart — someone long dead, whom the Granny had seen from a distance once or twice in her life.
她们争了一辈子的那个男人，心里放的是第三个人。那个人早就死了，童姥一生只远远见过她一两面。
And Wu Yazi had given that painting, with seventy years of power and a ring, into the hands of a little monk he had never met.
而无崖子把这一幅画，连同七十年的功力、一枚指环，一并交给了一个素不相识的小和尚。
What he had been looking for was never a fighter. It was a man who would not learn his arts, and would only save lives.
他要找的，从来不是一个能打的人。他要找的是一个不肯学他武功、只肯救人的人。
Chapter 5: On Piaomiao Peak
第五回 缥缈峰上
The Granny was dead. No one else came down to the cellar after that.
童姥死了。冰窖里没有别人再来。
And the girl stopped coming. When exactly it stopped, Xuzhu could not say — she had never come on a fixed night. Only when the Granny died did he understand that she would not come again.
那姑娘也就不再来了。什么时候断的，虚竹说不清——她本来就来得没有准日子。等童姥一死，他才明白，她再也不会来了。
He sat in the ice cellar for a long while.
他在冰窖里坐了很久。
The body could not simply be carried out. Then he remembered what he had heard by day: the palace was hauling its ice away. Cold weather was coming, the store in the cellar would not be needed, and cart after cart went out to be tipped into the river beyond the city. The carts went out full and came back empty.
尸首不能就这么背出去。他想起白日里听见的动静：宫里正把冰往外运——天要冷了，窖里存的冰用不着，一车一车拉出去，倒进城外的河里。车装满了出去，空着回来。
He waited for the day of the hauling. In the confusion of the loading he wrapped the Granny in hemp cloth and buried her under the ice. At the side gate the driver watched the road; the guard counted carts. Out of the city, at the river, while the ice was being tipped, he took the bundle down and went into the trees along the bank.
他等到运冰的那一天。趁着装车的乱，把童姥裹在麻布里，压在冰底下。车出偏门的时候，赶车的只管看路，守门的只管数车。出城到了河边，趁卸冰的工夫，他把布包抱下来，钻进了岸边的树林。
He found a sheltered slope, gathered dry wood, and burned her. He put the ashes in a cloth bundle and slung it on his back.
寻一处背风的山坡，捡枯柴，一把火烧了。骨灰装进一个布包，背在身上。
Li Qiushui's he could do nothing for. This place was her home; dying in the palace, she had come home.
李秋水的，他管不了。这地方是她的家，死在宫里，算是回了家。
The Granny had told him the road before she died: out of Xixia, east, to the peak with cloud lying across its middle. That was Piaomiao Peak.
童姥临终告诉过他路：出西夏，往东，走到云在半山腰的那座峰，就是缥缈峰。
He walked a long way with the bundle on his back.
他背着一个布包，走了很久。
At the foot of Piaomiao Peak, a battle was going on.
缥缈峰下，正在打仗。
The mountain road was packed with men — the very men from the Ten-Thousand Immortals Assembly. They had failed to kill the girl, and when they got back to their caves and islands, the more they thought, the more frightened they became: once she was healed, her first business would be to settle accounts. So the Thirty-Six Caves and the Seventy-Two Islands put their heads together, went the whole way, gathered every man they had, and struck first at Piaomiao Peak.
山道上黑压压全是人，正是万仙大会上那一伙。他们没能杀掉那个小丫头，回到各洞各岛，越想越怕：那一位养好了伤，头一件事就是来算账。三十六洞、七十二岛一合计，索性一不做二不休，纠集了所有人马，先杀上缥缈峰。
The mountain was held by the women of Vulture Palace, divided into nine heavens and nine divisions, each holding a stretch of the stone stair. They were few, but they held it stubbornly, and the steps were already littered with bodies.
山上守的是灵鹫宫的人，全是女子，分作九天九部，各守一段石阶。她们人少，守得却死，石阶上已经躺了不少人。
When Xuzhu pushed through the crowd from behind, no one recognized him.
虚竹从人群后头挤过去的时候，谁也没认出他。
He walked up the steps and stood between the two sides.
直到他走上石阶，站在两下中间。
The women of Vulture Palace saw the ring on his hand first.
灵鹫宫的人先看见了他手上的指环。
One of them came down the steps, looked at it for a long while, and suddenly knelt and called him master.
一个女子从阶上下来，看了那指环很久，忽然跪下去，叫了一声"主人"。
One after another, the women on the steps knelt.
阶上的女子一个接一个跪下来。
The men below exploded.
山下的人却炸了。
"That is the monk!" Someone had recognized him. "At the Ten-Thousand Immortals Assembly — he is the one who carried the girl away!"
"这就是那个和尚！"有人认出来了，"万仙大会上，抱走那小丫头的就是他！"
Old Man Wu pushed out of the press, stood at the foot of the steps, and looked up at him.
乌老大从人堆里挤出来，站在阶下，抬头看他。
"What did you do with her?" he asked.
"你把她怎么了？"他问。
"She is dead," Xuzhu said.
"她死了。"虚竹说。
The ground was still for a breath, and then the noise grew louder than before.
底下静了一瞬，接着是更大的乱。
Some shouted to kill the monk; some shouted for the cure first. The two cries tangled together, and no one could hear anyone.
有人喊"杀了这和尚"，有人喊"先要解药"，两种喊声搅在一处，谁也听不清谁。
Xuzhu took the bundle off his back and held it in both hands.
虚竹把背上的布包解下来，捧在手里。
"This is her," he said. "The mistress of Vulture Palace, the Child-Granny of Mount Heaven. I burned her, and I brought her back."
"这是她。"他说，"灵鹫宫的主人，天山童姥。我把她烧了，带回来了。"
Below the steps, no one spoke.
山下没有人说话。
The sentence had to be turned over in the mind before it could be taken in.
这句话要在人心里过一遍，才过得下去。
That night they had sacked her, carried her into the clearing, stood around her laughing, pinched their voices and called her Granny — that child had been this woman.
那一夜他们装在麻袋里抬上场的、围着笑、捏着嗓子叫"姥姥"的那个孩子——就是这位。
One man remembered that he had laughed loudest. Another remembered that he had kicked the sack.
有人想起自己当时笑得最响。有人想起自己踢过那只袋子。
Old Man Wu stared at the bundle for a long time, then gave a laugh that was worse than weeping.
乌老大盯着那个布包，看了很久，忽然笑了一声，笑得比哭还难听。
"Dead," he said. "She is dead."
"死了。"他说，"她死了。"
"The talismans," Xuzhu said. "I will draw them out for you."
"生死符，"虚竹说，"我替你们拔。"
Chapter 6: Drawing Out the Talismans
第六回 拔符
Below the steps there was dead silence, and then uproar.
山下先是一片死寂，接着哄然。
"You?" Someone was laughing. "A monk, and you can draw a Life-and-Death Talisman?"
"你？"有人笑，"一个和尚，会拔生死符？"
Xuzhu did not answer. He turned and walked into the palace.
虚竹不答。他转身往宫里走。
A few steps on, he looked back. "Who will be first?"
走了几步，他回过头："谁先来？"
No one answered.
没有人应。
What he was looking for was not a killing art. It was a way to undo a talisman.
他要找的不是杀人的功夫，是解符的法子。
The Granny had taught him the Six Yang Palm on the road. She had not told him what it was for — only made him practise it again and again. At this moment he understood: the force of that palm could enter an acupoint, melt the wafer of ice planted there, and drive it out along the meridian.
童姥在路上教过他天山六阳掌。她教的时候没说是做什么用的，只让他一遍一遍地练。到了这一刻他才明白：这一掌的力道，能进穴道，能把种在里头的那一枚薄冰化开，再顺着经脉逼出来。
Said in one sentence, it sounds simple. Done, it is another matter.
这道理说起来只有一句，做起来是另一回事。
The men outside stood a long while. Then Old Man Wu followed him in.
外头站了半晌，乌老大跟上来了。
He was untying his sash as he walked. He came into the great hall, sat down on a chair, and stripped to the waist.
他一边走一边解衣带，走进大厅，往椅子上一坐，光着上身。
"I will go first," he said.
"我先来。"他说。
Where a Life-and-Death Talisman sits depends on the one who planted it. To draw it out you must first find it: feel for it inch by inch, match it point by point. Xuzhu's hand pressed down, and Old Man Wu's whole body jerked.
生死符打在什么地方，全看当初种符的人。要拔，得先找出来——一寸一寸地摸，一处处地对。虚竹的手按上去，乌老大整个人一抽。
"Bear it," Xuzhu said.
"忍着。"虚竹说。
He gathered the force of the Six Yang Palm in his palm and sent it in along the acupoint.
掌心里运起六阳掌的劲力，顺着穴道往里送。
The place on Old Man Wu's back first went hot, then began to itch — itched until the man arched over and a sound not quite human came out of his throat. Then something seemed to melt and scatter away along the blood.
乌老大背上那块地方先是发烫，接着发痒，痒得他整个人弓起来，喉咙里发出一种不像人的声音。然后，像有什么东西化了，顺着血脉散开。
He lay over the chair back, gasping, for a long while. Then he raised his head, his face streaming.
他伏在椅背上，喘了半晌，抬起头来，脸上全是水。
"It is gone," he said.
"没了。"他说。
"It is gone," Xuzhu said.
"没了。"虚竹说。
Old Man Wu got down from the chair, stood in the hall, and suddenly crouched, holding his head, his shoulders shaking.
乌老大从椅子上下来，站在厅里，忽然蹲下去，抱着头，肩膀一抖一抖。
Decades. Every year, on the day, the itch starting from inside the bones, an itch that made a man take a knife to his own flesh. And now, suddenly, it was gone.
几十年。每年到了日子，从骨头缝里往外痒，痒得拿刀往自己身上剜。这个痒，忽然没有了。
He wiped his face and called out toward the door.
他抹了一把脸，回头朝门外喊了一声。
Two more men came in after him and stood in the hall, neither willing to sit down first.
又有两个人跟着进来，站在厅里，谁也不肯先坐。
Hence this line in the book:
于是有了书上这一句：
"Xuzhu returned to the great hall and drew out the Life-and-Death Talismans of three men."
— Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, revised edition 「虚竹回入大厅，拔除了三人的生死符。」
——《天龙八部》（修订版） Three men went in, and three men came out.
三个人进去，三个人出来。
So it went, one man after another.
如此一个个地拔。
The sun set and rose again. One by one the men below the steps went in and came out. Some knelt as soon as they were through the door; some wept first and knelt only after.
拔到后来，日头落了又起。阶下的人，一个一个进去，一个一个出来。有人出来就跪，有人出来先哭，哭完了才跪。
The men below the steps knelt in a sheet.
山下跪了一片。
"This life is yours from now on."
"这条命，往后是您的。"
Xuzhu accepted the courtesy, and what was on his mind was something else: he had broken the precepts.
虚竹受了这个礼，心里想的却是另一件事：他破了戒。
Wine, meat, women, and others besides. Counted one by one, he had lost count of what he had broken.
酒戒、肉戒、色戒，还有别的。一条一条数下来，破得他自己都数不清。
He was a monk, and he now had charge of a palace full of women, and he carried as well the headship of the Xiaoyao Sect. Of the three, each was more absurd than the last.
他是个和尚，如今管着一座全是女子的宫，身上还挂着逍遥派掌门的位子。这三样，一样比一样荒唐。
He told the women of the palace: "I am going back to Shaolin."
他跟宫里的人说："我要回少林。"
They were thrown into confusion.
宫里的人慌了。
"Master," they said, "if you go, what becomes of us?"
"主人，"她们说，"您走了，我们怎么办？"
"I have broken the rules," Xuzhu said. "I am going back to take my punishment."
"我犯了戒。"虚竹说，"要回去领罚。"
Here is where the man's backbone is.
虚竹这个人的骨头，就在这里。
A palace fell out of the sky into his lap, and a lifetime of power, and a whole sect — he set none of it in his heart. What he set there was that he had done wrong and must go back and own it.
天上掉下来一座宫、一身功力、一个门派，他一样没往心里放；他心里放着的，是自己犯了错，得回去认。
Men of the jianghu spend a lifetime begging for these things. He got them and counted them a debt.
江湖上的人求这些东西求一辈子，他得了，只当是债。
He came down from Piaomiao Peak and took the road back to Shaolin.
他下了缥缈峰，一路往少林去。
He looked back once. The cloud still lay across the middle of the mountain, hiding the upper half.
他回头看了一眼。云还在半山腰，把上头那一截遮着。
He did not yet know that a Heroes' Assembly was waiting for him on Mount Shaoshi, and that the heroes of the realm were all converging there.
他还不知道，少室山上正有一场英雄大会等着他，天下的豪杰都在往那儿赶。